Fauxtox

Ifyou ever find yourself in a car, then chances are you will be bored. I say that because generally there aren’t many things to look at.

There are miles and miles of malls after malls. Sometimes you’re find a mini mall alongside a mega mall that is always crammed between lube shops, rub and tugs and donut stores. Probably on purpose.

Since your in a car and bored you generally have two choices. Run somebody over and start a high speed chase, or turn on the radio. I usually turn on the radio.

Today whist driving I flicked the car radio on and head something that both made me laugh and cry at the same time, an emotion usually reserved for looking at pictures of overweight golfers.

There was a radio discussion about the amount of men who are currently seeking Botox treatment as well as having fat sucked out of the.

Dudes getting Botox.

Fat out of their asses and chemically altered so it can be re injected into their heads so they can look younger.

Male bravado and peacocking is nothing new because that’s nature. Lions have manes for a reason, and let’s face it, who would wear a tie unless they thought it made us look better? It’s an uncomfortable and expensive noose. Us men do these things so we can look a little bit better and show some sort of individuality in a world that discourages it.

If you doubt me, note the fact that there are no ‘business fanny packs’.

While I listened to this radio show, I thought about the movie Robots (yeah, I know) but was reminded of the moment when it was said “why be you when you can be new”. I refuse to believe that being someone else is better than being me.

I work hard and achieve my goals. Partially because I have to, but also because that is just how I am hard wired. I don’t think it makes me special, I just think it makes me human.

I’m all for a night on a couch somewhere with my family watching Robots with my PDA happily tucked away somewhere I can escape the dull roar of it’s constant buzzing.

Also, like most guys I’d like to look like the Mens Health magazine cover which is always displayed alongside womens Vogue at my local drug store periodical rack.

Here’s the thing though, and where the penny drops: There is no Botox for life.

Acres of men sitting around in the gigantic SUV’s that are so vast that every time they fill them with petrol that Saudi Arabia sinks three feet into the ocean at a drive thru while gobbling down buckets of deep fried butter batter dipped bacon wrapped sauteed cheeseburger pancakes on a stick and then driving to a strip mall to see a person who flunked out of veterinary school to inject them isn’t going to make them better people.

Sure being thin and looking like what the social media wants you to think a man should look like would be great. It’ll get you laid a hell of a lot but it isn’t going to make you a better person. We’d all look like Gerrard Butler if we could and had the time, but then again why should we? It’s not like Angelina Jolies are flying off of the rack and that’s a good thing.

If however looking like you can bend it like Beckham is your vice du jour then bravo. Plenty of people do it every day through hard work at a gym, a good diet and plenty of exercise. Like anything that has any value it comes with hard work and dedication.

Spit and sawdust.

Going to a drive thru on your way to get the fat sucked out of your jowls just so you can appear to look better is cheating. Not just on the world, but yourself. It will also attract the kind of people who cheat on themselves and on your. After a period of time elapses, sooner or later you’ll wonder who is the biggest fake, them or you?

Chances are you are, because you’ll never talk anyone else out of it, but you can always do it for yourself every day and choose not to.

As for me, I’m going to work hard and look as good as I can. If people like it, great. If not. Eff ’em.

~ Jihad Georgi